So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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