Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Soap is not a condiment
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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