I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
