my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
