True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize