winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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