Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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