eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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