You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
