i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize