I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize