This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
