remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
