i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize