Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
