the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
