whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
