Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
