so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.