Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry