I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
