I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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