well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm sobbing to NWA
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
