Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
