i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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