I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.