when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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