Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
