So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
