There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
