6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize