3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
