She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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