so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
