I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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