so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
