She said her name was "party"
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
