...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
