i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
