i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
