you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
