True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
