me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
