Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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