Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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