It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
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I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
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I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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