Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Damn victory sex feels great
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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