we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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