Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the day after is always just damage control
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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