I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize