i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
