I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
