No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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