My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize