So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
