who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
