How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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