how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
this beer tastes like vomit already
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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