the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hippo gnu deer
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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