Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
