Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.