a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.