Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
