Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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