I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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